Whole instead of being half of something
by ALMH
Summary: Danny's thoughts about Zoe after her engagement. Rating up-ed to T due to some mild language and potentially distressing themes.
1. Chapter 1

The first piece I've finished in years, so I'm quite rusty but hope you enjoy it anyway.

* * *

Danny had never realized how good it had been. Sure they had their arguments (how were earl grey tea bags domestic?), but she'd been a good person to have around. That sense of companionship had got him through many a dark day. Now, however, it was all over. And it was all Will's fault.

No, that was a lie. Will had made Zoe happy in a way that he never had. That thought alone was enough to drag him back into the darkness that he'd barely managed to escape since Will and Zoe had got engaged (if he was honest, since they'd started going out. But he wasn't ready to be honest yet). If it had just been jealousy he could have coped with that. It wasn't though. It was the rest of the emotions that came along with it, loneliness being the worst. She was still around, was still his friend, but it wasn't the same. Now she had someone to go talk to when things got bad, when she had news, or whenever she just needed a chat, and he was just a back up. And that left him with no one, just a shadow of a friend. Part of him just wished that she would move out, so that they could finish this fake roommate relationship and so he could move on. Maybe Sam would be interested in moving in instead. Maybe he could muddle his way through a relationship with her. It wouldn't be the same as with Zoe, but at least he'd have someone. Anyone.

But not her.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for your lovely reviews, they mean the world to me. Now, onto the story. It's going to be 5 chapters in total, and the next chapter is nearly done and I just need to write up the last two chapters so it shouldn't be too long a gap between them.

* * *

Gone. She was gone, maybe forever. And without him.

Persuading her to go had been the hardest choice of his life so far. At least when she had been here, working with him, she'd been around. Not emotionally, she'd distanced herself from him a while ago. But seeing her at work was something that even Will couldn't take away from him. He had still managed to get a little comfort from that. Now she had completely left him. And it hurt like hell.

He wasn't sure how he was coping with her absence (or if he was even coping). The people at work didn't think he was coping well enough, that much was obvious. They didn't seem to understand what he was going through. Understand how much of an effort it was to keep clinging onto the last remains, how he just about coped with the weight that constantly seemed to press down on his chest and somehow managed to keep the tears away until he was alone. How he'd taken to hugging a pillow until he fell asleep because it made the pit in the bottom of his stomach feel a little less deep. He was doing the best that he could. And even now he knew his best wasn't good enough. Maybe he should just end it now, just kill himself, end the pain. Why not?

Then the reason why came. It didn't come as a big revelation, nor as a large gesture telling him that everything was going to be ok. It came in the form of gentle support from Ruth, a person to talk to in Adam, a partner who he could count on in Fiona, and an extra digestive with his tea from Sam. Somehow everything felt that bit better now.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry this has taken longer than I intended, I had an eventful day with the trains and then realised that I got my timelines slightly mixed up, so I've had to do some pretty major editing to my story line.

* * *

Now that it had been a while since Zoe left the days had got that bit easier now. Her desk is no longer empty, taunting him. Slowly but surely he has acclimatized to a work place without her. He doesn't look up every 5 minutes any more, more like every 10. Still, it's progress.

The same couldn't be said for when he was at home. Her herbal teabags still have pride of place in his cupboard, her belongings are still in her room and the bathroom still contains more make up than you'd normally see in a bachelor's bathroom. At home, everywhere he turns he sees memories, good and bad. It's like even when he's at home, the place where he should feel safe and secure, he just feels trapped. By her, and by the emotional turmoil she has wreaked in his head.

One evening suddenly something snaps. Forgoing his usual after-work tradition of collapsing on the coach mindlessly whiling the hours away he heads straight for the vodka. Because he's done with how Zoe makes him feel. She had edged her way in until she was his world, then moved on to her next project, leaving him feeling like crap. How was that fair, for her to make him feel like the centre of her world one minute, and less than nothing the next? He angrily downed his shot, first grimacing at the taste, and then the memory of drinking vodka out of the teapot with her. She seemed to have contaminated everything in his life with memories which he was unable (or unwilling) to forget. He was sick of drinking to forget, of running away from this. Then the thought which had been at the back of his mind seemed to become clearer, illuminating his path ahead. It was time to let her go. He was moving on.


End file.
